Why would anyone want to be "fit as a fiddle"? They're very fragile instruments.
If I had a say, I'd want to be fit as a tuba.
]]>What's wild about this speech is that, it's a speech we've all heard before from modern politicians, but somehow I believe it more coming from Chaplin in this bit.
We need to get back to a point where people are after progress instead of power.
]]>Hassani Kwesstz from John Ledbetter on Vimeo.
This is a video that my twin brother JAY DEX directed. It's amazing and I can't stop watching it. I owe him a lot because he taught me everything I know about how to shoot videos, and even inspired me to step my game up with my photography.
]]>Why would anyone want to be "fit as a fiddle"? They're very fragile instruments.
If I had a say, I'd want to be fit as a tuba.
]]>
Files? What files, Dave?There is a very small list of things that work for everyone else, but never work for me. They are:
1) Dating.
2) Finding and downloading pirated software.
3) Transferring a file via FTP.
On Friday, I shot something for someone. When I asked how I would get him the footage he said, "I'll just send you an FTP link." I knew this would be a problem, since every time I have tried to use an FTP connection to send someone their files, they just haven't received their files. This is not because I don't try very hard to make it work; it is because FTP is racist against me.
NOTE: FTP isn't racist against black people. It's just racist against me. You should be careful because as soon as FTP figures out that you love me, it'll probably start hating you, too.
Anyways, I am determined to make this work, so I have been trying to transfer this footage for the past 10 hours. I have been through 6 "CONNECTION LOST" errors, and 7 "RESUME" commands. So far, so good, but so LONG!
I sent the dude who's footage I'm sending way too many e-mails and status updates. When I panic, I tend to check the status on things and provide updates to people who may (or may not be) involved in what's causing my panic. I'd explain this further, but that's a whole other blog post.
So as I enter into hour 9.5 of monitoring this file transfer, I am preparing my mind for the exhaustion that will rock my world tomorrow (it's 2:24am). But, this footage is for a HUGE client and we do what we have to do to get shit done, don't we?
]]>
I just found $50 in my room. The celebration going on in my heart right now is very serious. It's an ordeal. I'm not entirely sure what I will do with my new found fortune. Perhaps, I'll use it to start my campaign for President of Haiti.
Who knows? The world is mine, after all.
]]>Now, smile....bigger....bigger....wider....hold each other's hands. BEAUTIFUL!
You lean against the wall and look away. You hug this pillar. Yes, hug the pillar. No, trust me.
Have you two ever thought of modeling?! I know a guy. I'll put you in touch. No wait, just lean against the branch like, "I'm waiting here." Then you look at him like, "For what?" And then this next photo he'll be all like..."For forever."
OMG, you two are so wonderful together...okay, now JUMP!
This is the lamest ninja fight I've ever seenWhat you are reading is not what I originally planned for this blog. Before I began typing this, I typed a completely different blog, but deleted it because it would have gone over your heads. In case you don't believe me here are a few topics I covered in said blog:
NASA
Monkeys
Top Secret, government funded experiments
Apple (the company, not the food)
...and Henry Zinkerman.
If you're thinking of Googling Henry Zinkerman, don't bother. He doesn't exist. THAT'S how crazy this blog was.
My left foot has a mind of it's own. It's definitely the black sheep of my body. It all started when I was 12 and my sister ran over my left foot with a vacuum cleaner. In that moment I felt a pain I had never felt before and my first thought (I'm not kidding about this) was, "This foot will NEVER be the same again!"
I was right.
Oh, so kittens wear hoodies, now? Okay. I see you.I've given up on my left-pinky toe. One might say that I've disowned it, but I don't want to lose it. I love it from a distance. I let it sleep on the couch, rent free, however, I do hassle the son of a bitch for grocery money.
My left-big toe is just over weight and needs to get off it's lazy ass and get a job.
My left-middle toe is alright. It's the only part of my left foot that displays some form of responsibility. It washes the dishes. It's good with the kids. It has dreams. If you were to ask me, I'd say, "Yes, my left middle toe is going places."
Speaking of going places, my parents called and said they're going to Las Vegas for a week. If you knew my parents, then you'd know how ridiculous this is. What are John Q. (that's what I call my dad) and my mom going to do in "Sin City"?
I spent a week in Las Vegas once (best vacation ever) and I do not think they can handle the sea of pornography flyers littered about the streets.
I should really stop writing this and go to sleep. That's what a responsible person would do. That's what my left-middle toe would do if it were me. As a matter of fact, that's what's going to happen. This is a stupid blog post, anyways.
Oh, and I didn't know what pictures would go with such a ridiculous post, so I googled "Ninja Fight" and what you see was one of the first results.
]]>
I get cheese like Monterey Jack
Two stories high, nigga
Monterey Stacks....
--Cam'ron circa 2013
This is what will happen if we don't change our ridiculous ways.
]]>
Yeah, more like the last Air-FARTER! Right, folks?!Let me start off by saying, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. You don't even have to read the rest of this blog. Do not see it. It's that simple. The rest of what I am about to write is incoherent venting about how bad this movie is.
There is a list of movies that I think are the worst movies ever. A few of these movies are (in no particular order):
Soul Plane
Boxing Helena
Guns
He-Man
Semi-Pro
Legion
Transformers (both of them)
The Last Airbender is worse than all of these, already horrid, films. The reason why is because it is not even funny how bad this movie is. Let me explain.
Boxing Helena and Guns are so bad they're funny. (NOTE: I even think Guns is SUPPOSED to be really shitty.) Although these movies are detestable in every way, they are VERY enjoyable to watch. He-Man has the same affect.
Semi-Pro, Legion, and both Transformers movies are bad movies that were supposed to be good. They have good actors, good directors, sufficient budgets, but somehow, very bad movies. Watching these films is like paying $12 to watch someone take a shit.
The Last Airbender is such a bad movie I was enraged. It was the type of rage that makes you want to be angry. You don't want your friends to calm you down and quell your fury. You want to meet M. Night Shimalamalamalamb in the street and rob him of his wares.
I'm not going to get into reasons why the movie is bad because whatever you can assume would make a movie bad, actually happened in The Last Airbender. I decided it would be a terrible movie 2 minutes into it and I'm not exaggerating about that.
Don't bother.
]]>
THEY LIKE US! THEY REALLY LIKE US!
The homie Amanda Diva and I got another episode of Technicolor Lover on Creative Control TV. CLICK HERE to check out the episode.
This is a really funny one!
The first episode got so many views thanks to you, so continue to show love to the show and check back here every week or so for links to the new episodes. You can also find updates on my twitter page.
]]>