Do not see "Legion" - Worst Movie Ever
Monday, January 25, 2010 at 6:52AM 
The title to this blog entry says it all. This poorly written movie review is a bit scatter-brained. Please forgive me, as this is largely in part to my still being angry that I spent $10.50 to see one of the worst movies ever made.
For those of you who don't know, "Legion" is a film in which the good Lord has suddenly decided that the human race does not deserve His glory. God has, therefore, assigned an army of angels to destroy mankind. But wait, a rouge angel named Michael still has faith in mankind and has come down to Earth to protect a pregnant woman and her unborn child. The unborn child is, as they so eloquently put it in the movie, "the only hope that mankind has of surviving." Michael finds the pregnant woman in a desert diner with a band of other folks and together they fight off God's army. I have serious issues with this movie.
First and foremost, at no point in the movie do they explain HOW the baby is the savior of mankind. Anyone who has never read, nor written a script before knows that at some point you should explain the plot of the movie.
Question: How did Michael find the pregnant woman? Oh wait, they never explain that either.
In the beginning of the movie Jeep (the leading man/hero), says he has found something strange in an old shack behind the diner. There is no further reference to this mysterious artifact throughout the rest of the film.
Just before Michael faces off with Gabriel (the bad angel) he instructs Jeep (the leading man) to, "find the prophets and learn to read the instructions." There is no prior mention of prophets, nor instructions. As a matter of fact, they do not mention them again through the rest of the film.
At various points of the movie there are feeble attempts at character development. Each supporting character has a point in the movie where they rant off in a monologue that has zip to do with the progression of the plot. The only good part of the film, however, is when Charles S. Dutton has his moment. He's a great actor so he made lemons into lemonade. It's too bad he dies in the worst way ever. That kind of brings me to my next point.
There is senseless death in this movie. I don't mean that to say that there is too much death, or that the death is too graphic. I mean that to say that everyone who dies in this film does so in a very unclimactic way. Consider this example: Imagine you're watching "Road to Perdition" and instead of Jude Law shooting Tom Hanks in the back in the last scene, Tom dies by tripping over a skateboard and falling on a cooking knife.
During the movie humans become possessed by angels, which turns most of the film into a zombie flick. Retarded.
The only cool thing about this movie is the angels' wings. The angels' wings look awesome.
Look, I could go on and on, but I won't. I'm sure you can find reviews of this movie that more effectively get the point across scattered about the Internet. I just wanted you all to know that as long as I live, it will be very difficult for someone to write a movie with more plot holes and worse writing than, "Legion".
IN CONCLUSION: If you are the kind of person who values both time and money, then don't waste either by seeing this movie. If you are planning on jumping off a bridge and need one more reason to take the plunge, then this is the movie for you.
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Reader Comments (9)
...you know there's going to be a part II, right.
..can't say a sista didn't warn a brotha.
I honestly don't think that there will be a second one. The reviews are so bad that I don't think that another studio would waste money on producing it. If they do, it will be a straight to DVD release and with a completely different cast of B-list actors playing the lead roles...oh wait...yeah, probably the same actors.
You know, I wish I had looked into this before I sat down to watched it... God help us all if they make a second one, they may need Michael to come down again and protect us from it..
OH my god im soo happy i waited and downloaded the movie this is by far one of the worst movies i have ever seen.
just "rented" it through netflix. while it didn't COST me anything... it DID cost me time, and took the place of any other movie that would have been more worth my time to watch.
correction. the reason Michael is able to find the women is obvious. its the same way that Gabriel found them in the desert. He's an angel. he just knows. end of story. (very BAD story at that) there'd better be a remake that actually EXPLAINS itself (still curious about the prophets and the artifact... and WHY Jeep got Michaels tats). Simple as this, the movie ITSELF needs redemption.
Benjamin: The only way I can explain how I didn't pick up on that is that I'm sure my I.Q. dropped about 3 points within the first 10 minutes of the film. I'm really into drinking orange juice now, so things are looking up.
I just saw The Last Airbender and it makes Legion look like The Shawshank Redemption.
...it's that bad.
I know this is many months old, but I have to comment.
This has to be the worst movie review ever. It makes very little sense. Almost every single argument made by the OP is baseless. I'll explain:
1. "First and foremost, at no point in the movie do they explain HOW the baby is the savior of mankind. Anyone who has never read, nor written a script before knows that at some point you should explain the plot of the movie."
This is irrelevant. Telling us how the baby will be mankind's savior will not progress the movie in any way and will just take up unnecessary time. Besides, it gives them room to develop his role in a sequel.
2. "Question: How did Michael find the pregnant woman? Oh wait, they never explain that either."
Also irrelevant. It doesn't matter. He's a flippin angel. How did he know Jeep's life story? Or all of the other information that he just seemed to know? Towards the end, Michael explains that the baby was never meant to live and now that he does, the story has been 'unwritten.' This means that everything was supposed to play out in a very specific way, so it makes that he knew where she was. And again, telling us how he knew where she was wouldn't progress the story and would just waste time.
3. "In the beginning of the movie Jeep (the leading man/hero), says he has found something strange in an old shack behind the diner. There is no further reference to this mysterious artifact throughout the rest of the film."
Seriously? Did you watch the same movie I watched? It's a crib. It's not a mystery and he never called it strange. A couple of scenes before that you see Jeep asking Charlie (the girl) if she's okay because of the stranger she was talking to. During that scene, you see him carrying the crib.
4. "Just before Michael faces off with Gabriel (the bad angel) he instructs Jeep (the leading man) to, "find the prophets and learn to read the instructions." There is no prior mention of prophets, nor instructions. As a matter of fact, they do not mention them again through the rest of the film."
You have no idea how movies work do you? They can't give away everything. There has to be questions, if there weren't we wouldn't be interested in seeing a sequel. So it isn't unusual for a movie to leave questions unanswered and this is a clear example of that.
5. "At various points of the movie there are feeble attempts at character development. Each supporting character has a point in the movie where they rant off in a monologue that has zip to do with the progression of the plot. The only good part of the film, however, is when Charles S. Dutton has his moment. He's a great actor so he made lemons into lemonade. It's too bad he dies in the worst way ever. That kind of brings me to my next point."
I kind of agree with this one. The side stories were lame.
6. "There is senseless death in this movie. I don't mean that to say that there is too much death, or that the death is too graphic. I mean that to say that everyone who dies in this film does so in a very unclimactic way. Consider this example: Imagine you're watching "Road to Perdition" and instead of Jude Law shooting Tom Hanks in the back in the last scene, Tom dies by tripping over a skateboard and falling on a cooking knife. "
This makes no sense. Each death occurred because of an action they chose in some way and was more climatic than you're giving it credit. For instance, the black guy dies because he was tricked when trying to save the kid. He was tricked by the kid. I highly doubt anyone actually knew the kid was going to become obsessed.
7. "During the movie humans become possessed by angels, which turns most of the film into a zombie flick. Retarded."
...
This is not a zombie flick. The people don't die and then rise from the dead. They become possessed, are still alive, and then can be killed.
Legion was a great movie that I really enjoy and I hope they make a sequel.
Ernest...dude....take it easy. I hated the movie for the reasons I listed. Agree to disagree. But with regard to most of your rebuttals I offer this:
Story development is relevant in any film even if they plan on making a sequel. There should be no holes in a feature length movie. Even if there are cliff-hangers, there should be some sort of resolve. (NOTE: The Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings films) Furthermore, just because there are cliff-hangers doesn't mean there will even be a sequel. (NOTE: The Golden Compass) How is that fair for people like yourself who will NEVER get your resolve and those plot holes filled? Honestly, I think you should be more critical than I am in that respect.
It's shabby writing. Simple and plain.