Once again....I am unable to post a subject for this blog entry. Govern yourselves accordingly.
-A new employee just started with my company today. I need to ask you why she is so hot. Her name is Daniela. She is hot; beyond that she's very personable. In true fashion of my life I'm sure she either has a boyfriend or is lesbian. Anytime I think a girl is hot, personable, or in some way good for me she either has a boyfriend or is lesbian. There's also the little thing about how she's off limits because she's a co-worker. If she's really cool, then I'll cast my morals to the wind. More on this story as details develop.
-Mine and my brother's brithday is on July 15th. Someone had better take me out to dinner or something. I'll be 27 years old. Please refrain from making jokes about how old I am or how elderly I am getting. Also, refrain from telling me that I look young for my age. Neither one of those things have a postive effect on my self-esteem.
Ok...I was just instructed to show Daniela (see paragraph 1) around the office and surrounding areas. This means that for the next 45 minutes I will have to engage in small talk and make great conversation. During this 45 minutes I will make an attempt to not be so much of a stuttering, bumbling, buffon, which tends to happen when I meet new people. Given the small chance that Daniela is not spoken for, nor a lesbian it is crucial that I make myself seem half way normal.
If you know me well, then you understand that this will be a task, as I am far from being a "normal guy".
The first exchange between me and new Hot Office Girl:
HER: So, you're going to be showing me around.
HER: Ok...I'll follow you.
ME: 6 even.
ME: I'm 6 even.
ME: Wait a second...what did you just ask me?
HER: I said "I'll follow you."
ME: Ooooh...I thought you said, "Ok...How tall are you?"
HER: Oh...haha. No, I didn't.
ME: Oh....ok....come along, then.
You should know that I didn't exaggerate this at all. I really am that much of a gump when talking to the fairer sex. I suppose it doesn't matter because small talk led to her mentioning her boyfriend on two occasions.
...and such is the way of life for yours truely :)