Celebrity Letters of Congrats
I paid of my student loans about a month ago and the letters of congratulations have been pouring in from my various celebrity contacts. I thought I'd share a few:
Congrats on paying off your student loans, big guy! I know we haven't seen each other in a while and for that I apologize. Things have been crazy lately. But, I couldn't miss the chance to send you much love on getting that Student Loan Monkey off your back. Remember that time, during the Civil Rights Movement, when we shared that jail cell together and you put your hand on my shoulder and said, "You got this, Marty!" It gave me the strength to carry on. That meant a lot to me and this means a lot to me, too.
Here's lookin' at you, kid!
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
As one of the best comedy writers in the industry, I know a little something about achievement. I know what it means to be praised for a job well done and what it means to bask in a bit of glory, as it were. The fact is, that nothing I have or will ever achieve will measure up to the feat that you have accomplished in paying off your student loans. Everything I have done to now is ballocks compared to you making that last payment. I may even quit the industry. I don't know. I haven't decided yet.
In any case, congratulations. You are a great inspiration to all of us and you and I know that The Office would have been nothing without your guidance and unwavering support.
Congratulation on paying student loan. You are a great arc for mankind to ride to the brighter day. When I talk of love in teachings I think of time we share discussing of politics, of life, of spirituality, and of humanity. We traveled to mountain tops and shared dreams of changing this broken world and now we are closer to that goal. This achievement solidifies the fact that you are the guy.
Go get 'em.
Your brother for always:
The Dhali Lama
It wasn't Dylan. It wasn't The Maharishi. It wasn't the Blues. It wasn't Rock 'n Roll. It wasn't Yoko. It was always YOU.
Congratulations and thank you for years of inspiration.
Your best friends in life:
I'd be nowhere without you. You know it. I know it. America knows it.
If you need ANYTHING, I got you. For real. I have connections.
You'll never be as rich as me. Go f**k yourself!
Mitt, aka RMONEY
I remember the day you got your first student loan bill. You opened that envelope, saw the balance, and then you cried out my name in smite. I was hurt, but I understood and forgive you now. There were nights when you had to eat cereal for dinner because of this burden. The necessary burden of education. The necessary burden of adulthood. The necessary burden of pain. For without pain we cannot grow strong.
Sure, I could just GIVE you strength, but where's the fun in that? There's no lesson there. Life wouldn't be as entertaining to live (and to watch....lol). But no, seriously. You paying off your student loans isn't a new thing. People finish paying off their student loans everyday. There's no real prize for it. Chances are that by the time you get this letter you will have accumulated some other type of debt and will need to pay that off. Then you will smite my name again.
At the end of the day, the world is a world of payment. You pay your dues. You pay your taxes. You pay the piper. You pay your respects. It doesn't end until the end, so shut up and smile.
You've always been one of my favorites. Besties for always...lmao!
Jesus the Christ.