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Exercise Those Rights (ass)

THE FOLLOWING IS A REPOST FROM RYAN CONNER'S BLOG. I JUST HAPPEN TO THINK IT'S GENIUS:

A lot of people are showing up at Obama's town hall meetings carrying guns. Two guys today had assault rifles. When asked why they brought them to a health care town hall, they responded that they're just exercising their Second Amendment rights. When asked what the Second Amendment has to do with health care, they responded, "Freedom! GUNS! Grrroooooowwl!"
If I get a chance, I'm going to go to one of these and exercises my Constitutional rights. People will ask, "Why don't you have any soldiers quartered in your home?" And I'll just let them know, "I'm exercising my Third Amendment rights to not have soldiers quartered in my home without my consent. Freedom. Health care. Socialism. Obama is from Kenya. Blahhhh!"

"Hey Ryan, I noticed that you're here at the health care town hall, but you aren't being waterboarded. What's going on there?"
"Well, fine questioner, I'm only exercising my Eighth Amendment rights which protect me against cruel and unusual punishment. Freedom good. Socialism bad. Grrrr...."

"Well, Ryan, why do you oppose health care reform that could help 47 million uninsured people get insurance?"
"That's another great question, sir or madam. Well, you see, about half of my friends don't have health insurance. Comics can't get decent insurance unless they can afford about $500-$700 per month. And I say we keep it that way. If everyone can get health insurance, the next thing you know, I won't have any freedoms. For example, if my friend Rory was to get health insurance, I wouldn't be able to bring my AK-47 to Burger King. How fucked up is that? I love freedoms. And if my friend Danny was to somehow get health insurance, the government could force me to be a Mormon. Freedom good. And if my friend Justin was to get health insurance, I would lose my freedom to not have a government bureaucrat anally brutalize me. Come on America. Save my anal virginity. Say no to health care for all!"

Quincy LedbetterComment