Pigeons are zombie birds. All they do is fly around and feed on things. Today during my lunch break I went to the a dock on the Hudson River and I was mesmerized, looking at the pigeons do their thing. Their "thing" only entails flying and eating. Some of them hurt their legs, but their constant hunger pulls rank on their pain.
I admire the pigeons. They're not afraid of humans. Unlike other birds, they don't fly away when we approach. They just wait for you to drop food. I was followed by a pigeon once. It looked like it was trying to race me. It was cute.
Lately, I have had an issue with birds (not just pigeons) flying towards my face. City birds don't play games. In the past couple of months I can recall three times when I've ducked for cover because a bird was flying right at my face. It's scary. These birds up here have issues. We need to strike fear in their hearts so they know who's boss.
I need me a Yoko Ono.
A co-worker said that I should take a vacation to the islands and meet "a nice Caribbean woman". She had just visited the Bahamas last week and said the kindness of the women down there made her think of me. Oddly enough it made me feel good just to know that folks are thinkin' about a brotha. Score!
This is the most terrible blog post in history.
So yeah, back to pigeons....
Pigeons aren't even pretty birds. They're very plain looking and they have that crazy, maniac zombie look in their eyes. Check it out:
I heard that if a zombie pigeon monster bites you, then within 4 days YOU turn into a pigeon; and you are doomed to a life of scrapping for bread and rice crumbs around office buildings during lunch hours.
Think about that.