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I sucked last night. I didn't really screw up too bad, but the thing is that it wasn't a historic performance. Before I do anything for the first time I expect myself to not only do well, but to do HISTORICALLY well. I wanted jaws to be dropped and I wanted people to be hung on my every word. I did some self analysis and determined that I did not expect said praise, but I wanted it and when I didn't get it, I got bummed.
I strayed from saying, "Hi everyone this is my first time performing in front of anyone and I'm afraid." I wanted to, but I hate when people do that. It's like saying, "Excuse me if I do a bad job tonight...it's justified." There's no excuse for how I did besides that I'm not all that great as a performer and I'm terrified of people. I should work on getting over it. I'm going to do it again next week, for sure. Those mother effers are going to respect me, damnit.
The past 3 times I have done my laundry I have done so without folding my clothes and putting them in the proper place. I've been living out of the laundry bag, which is fine by me. I try to motivate myself by dumping my clean, unfolded laundry in places where it will get in my way. For example, I'll dump my laundry on my bed so that I'll have to fold it if I want to go to sleep. I'll dump my laundry on my living room couch so that I have to fold it if I have guests coming over or if I want to sit down to watch a movie.
The problem is that when I usually don't go to bed until my body is ready to quit on me, so a much easier solution is to just put the clothes back in the laundry bag. Also, I hang out with people who don't really care about your laundry, so when they come over they never say, "Quincy, get your life together and fold you laundry!" they just say, "Nah, it's cool. My laundry isn't folded, either." Tonight, however, I will fold my laundry and start living my life the right way.
Work is getting pretty hectic. We have a new boss who is the boss of my other two bosses. She recognized my work-horse mentality early and has given me a few projects to work on. My other bosses are clearly not too pleased with this, but what can they do or say about it.
I am on an endless search to find a woman who will not go COMPLETELY banana nuts on me after 3 months.