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Realtors are wolves in sheep's clothing

My roommates and I have been apartment hunting for the past week and a half.  The experience has taught me that realtors in the NYC and Northern New Jersey area are not to be trusted.  I mean, they're just shady people who tell you one thing, but it means something totally different.  I've got a few examples of things realtors said to us and what the actual truth was:

Realtor said:  "As you can see the third bedroom is very large with a glass sliding door!"

Truth:  The third bedroom doesn't exist.  The large sliding door leads to a living room that could possibly be used as a bedroom as long as you're fine with the second and third bedroom being connected to each other and using the dining room as your living room.


Realtor said:  "This newly renovated apartment is only a 10 minute walk to the nearest subway!"

Truth:  The kitchen is the only thing that is renovated; the rest of the apartment looks like and Indian slum.  In all seriousness the toilet has more cigarettes in it than water.  The subway is a 20 minute walk, not a 10 minute walk.  (NOTE:  When this point was made the realtor replied, "Well, I don't know how fast you walk.")


Realtor said:  I'll meet you there at X o'clock.

Truth:  All except one of the realtors we met with were at least 15 minutes late.  The only meeting that took place on time was one with whom we met at her office.  She was also the only one who was 100% honest with us.  Go figure.


Realtor said:  I have a 3 bedroom apartment to show you.

Truth:  He HAD a 3 bedroom apartment to show us.  Imagine our surprise when we walked into the apartment to find that someone had already started moving in. 


Realtor said:  I have a very nice 3 bedroom apartment to show you on Washington Street in Hoboken and is only a 5 minute walk to the subway for $1700 (for those who don't know that's amazing)!!!!  I'll meet you guys there at noon on Wednesday to show it to you.

Truth:  This guy did not show up and he did not have a 3 bedroom apartment to show us in Hoboken that is 5 minutes from the subway; however, he DID have a place to show us in Jersey City that is a 15-minute ride on a separate train service to the subway.  This leads me to the next portion of my tale entitled, "Jose and the Haunted House".


Jose and the Haunted House

The realtor described in the last scenario is named, Jose.  We found his post on for this OUTSTANDING 3 bedroom apartment in Hoboken.  We made arrangements to meet him at the apartment.  After 10 minutes had passed Ryan (best bud and roommate) called and we discovered that Jose was still at his office.  Apparently, he had tried to call us 5 times in the past hour.  Ryan's phone had no record of missed calls.  Jose also informed us that the apartment had been signed for sometime the previous day, but he did have another place to show us in a location distant from where we wanted to be.  Since we were already out we decided to see the place for kicks and giggles.

We get to the location and it turns out that Jose is showing us a 3-level, spacious house with a back yard.  We asked how much the rent was and he said $1900.  For those of you who don't know, that's unreal.  We looked around and were amazed at how perfect this place was.  It was HUGE.  It had space.  It had everything.  This house had so much that the distance from the subway no longer mattered.  After about 10 minutes of viewing, an uneasy feeling came over me.  I pulled Al (close friend and roommate) aside and said, "Dude.  This place is amazing....almost TOO amazing."  Our suspicions led us to ask Jose the following questions:

How old is the house?

Are there any problems with the house?

Why is there still furniture in the house?

Why did the last tenants leave the house?

Jose's answer to all of these questions was, "I don't know."  This guy didn't know ANYTHING about anything in regards to the house.  His lack of knowledge added to the fact that he deceived us into coming there helped us decide to pass.  I decided that the house was haunted.


In the end we found a great 3 bedroom place in Hoboken (not the one Jose lied about having).  It's not as big as our current apartment and we'll have to sacrifice a few pieces of furniture, but we're all very happy with it and it'll be a great place to live.  Observe these pictures of Hoboken and tell me you wouldn't want to live here, too.

As you can see there are people on unicylces and wearing smiles.  Hoboken is the only place within 2 miles of New York City where this happens.  Plus, you can't beat this view.  You just can't.  Don't even try to beat it.  You will fail.

Quincy LedbetterComment