happy corporate time, folks!!!!
I will be in a training session for work from 12:00pm until 4:30pm. Here is what needs to happen:
You will steal a car and travel to Prospect Park in Brooklyn, New York. You will start a series of fires in various rows of brownstones until the whole neighborhood is ablaze. All the while, you will be robbing corner stores in the neighborhood. You will do this to create a calling-all-cars scenario within the NYPD. If things go well, all hands in regards to law enforcement will be on deck with great concern to the chaos in Brooklyn.
You will get back into the vehicle you stole and drive to Union Square in Midtown Manhattan. Just outside of the Virgin Megastore on 14th Street where will be a helicopter piloted by a South American man named, "Pelle" (this is, of course, a code name). "Pelle" will fly you to the roof of the building in which I work. There you will be met with a band of rouge ninja smuggled to this land from their lair in the hills of various parts of Asia.
You will lead said band of ninja and strike upon the building initiated by separating the ninja into two groups: "Go Team A" (herein referred to as Fox Frollic) and "Go Team B" (herein referred to as Unicorn Leap). Unicorn Leap will scale the west wing of the building to the 35th Floor and immediately crash through the windows. Fox Frolic will secure the lower floors. Anyone who attempts to thwart the campaign will be ninja chopped in the back of the neck and/or ninja kicked in the buttocks, rendering them unconscious.
NOTE: This particular band of ninja have been trained to administer a blow to the buttocks sure to knock out their enemies.
You will seek me out. I am not sure where I will be held, but I am sure it is going to be in one of the meeting rooms (naturally). You will enter and stuff me into a potato sack. This must look like a kidnapping.
You will take me to the roof where "Pelle" will fly us to safety. The ninja will stay behind and fend off any security guards or law enforcement that may not have been sent to tend to the chaos in Prospect Park. You and I will fly safely to Vermont where we will be greeted by servants and we shall eat fresh grapes and toast to our victorious escapade. You must, however, return me to my home by 1am so that I can rest up. I will have to be back at work tomorrow.
This will be a dangerous campaign and there may be some casualties. You might not make it. But, if you call yourself my "friend", then you will at least try. There is no way anyone who calls themselves a true friend to anyone else would let a friend sit through a meeting from 12:00pm until 4:30pm. I expect to see you soon.
Thank you, friend.
I bid you Godspeed!