letters to a few people and things....
Dear Person who licks their fingers when shuffling through papers:
There are plenty of ways for you to ruffle through old documents and read a book without licking your finger tips. What makes you think that I would happily take a sheet of paper from you when you have touched it after licking your hands. Give me a break! Try to be patient and turn the pages with dry finger tips. I'm sure you'll find its just as easy as when you lick your finger tips. Either that or buy one of those reading sponges to dip your finger into (they exist).
Dear teenager with a skateboarder style who doesn't skateboard:
You confuse me. You walk around with a skateboard. You wear skateboard gear and you hang out at skate parks. Why don't you skateboard. I don't get it. I don't even have a suggestion for you. Thats like me wearing a hard hat and dirty timberland boots to look like a construction worker, when I've never hammered a nail in a 2x4 in my life. Can you imagine seeing a friend of yours wearing an expensive suit and tie to portray himself as a stock broker, when he actually works as a cashier in GameStop? Give me a break!
Dear Laterday Saints:
I'd like to hear you talk about something other than Jesus. I can totally dig your love and respect for your religion; as a matter of fact I admire it, but lets work on having a conversation where you don't end up preaching to the person you're talking to.
"The weather is so nice today."
"Yes, Jesus has given us another wonderful day to make merry."
"Oh wow, the subway is late."
"Jesus, must have another plan for us."
"My day at work was pretty busy."
"Turn your life from sin and your days will be better."
Why must you all be so adorable? Tell me why! Sometimes I'm in a bad mood and wallowing in my own self pity and one of you little buggers fart and I'm all mushy in my heart. I love you babies. I love you all.
Dear MTA 2 Train Subway Station:
Must you have the heat on ALL the time?!?! It feels like a dark corner of Hades in there.