Filmmaker - Musician - Photographer

DNC, suckazzzz!

Did you watch the Democratic National Convention last night? My roommate and I did. It was just as boring as you would expect (minus Kennedy's and Michelle Obama's speech). Here are some things I thought would make it more interesting:

1) Gladiators: The stage looked incredible. The lights were flashing. People were cheering. The energy at the DNC was high. Why weren't there any gladiators?! There should be a law that states anytime there is a large stage, flashing lights, cheering crowds, and energy there should be gladiators. What if in between speeches a caged lion and Greek warriors were let loose on the audience and a group of gladiators were sent in to save everyone? Now, THAT'S good television.

2) Video Montage Obama Walking in Slow Motion: Nothing says "power" and "authority" like a good slow motion scene. When you see someone doing something honorable, like building a house for the mentally challenged or something like that, it doesn't look as cool as it is; however, if you show a MONTAGE of that person building houses for the mentally challenged, then you've got something. Here are perfect examples of things that aren't that cool, but look awesome because they're in slow motion:

-A slender woman coming out of a pool.

-The scene in "The Darjeeling Unlimited" where Adrian Brody is running for the train and the scene where they're at the little kid's funeral and they play "Strangers" by The Kinks. I must've rewound that funeral scene 7 times over because it was so awesome.

-The last scene in the movie "Armageddon" when they just got back to Earth and their loved ones are waiting for them at the launch station. I wept. Seriously...I was moved.

-The scene in "Kill Bill Vol.1" where Lucy Liu and her gang are walking into the night club.

-The opening credits to "Reservoir Dogs".

4) Movie Previews: I just really like going to the movies and seeing the coming attractions is one of my favorite parts of any movie. It's so bad that if I miss the movie previews, I'll get a later ticket. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is like this.

5) An Advanced Screening of "The Watchmen": This one kind of bounces off of my last point. Am I the only one who is hella excited to see this movie? I've seen the preview a zillion times.

6) A Special Endorsement from 2pac Shakur: Picture this...After Michelle Obama's speech when Obama was talking to them via satellite, we see a large telescreen come down from the ceiling (to the music they play at the beginning of basketball games). We here Obama's voice say, "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been in talks with a dear friend of mine trying to get him to come out tonight. He couldn't make it, but he assures me that once I am president of these United States, he would return to us from hiding. In the meantime, I give you via satellite from a small Mexican village.....Mr. Tupac Shakur."

At which point 2pac would speak to us all via satellite from a small Mexican village and say that once Obama is president he would feel safe enough to come back to America.

7) A Special Endorsement from Jesus: Enough said.

8) The Announcement of when Dr. Dre Plans on Releasing his New Album: Am I the only one waiting on this damn "Detox" album?

Well, that's about it. I'm sure you will agree that if these things happened the Democratic National Convention would be a lot better. Now that this blog is written I'll bet the Republicans will steal my ideas and initiate some of these things. I'll bet they're on the phone with 2pac right now trying to get his vote.

....bastards.