Michael Phelps is an Alien Spy
My efforts to bring back the sexy continue with my initiation of my campaign against Michael Phelps. This kid is too good at swimming. Its unrealistic and I'm sure you agree. My theory is that he is an alien spy from....I dunno....Uranus.
You have to admit...the guy does kinda look like what an alien would look like if it were wearing a human disguise.
I kinda went on vacation last week. I say "kinda" because all I did was go down to my parents' house in Virginia...which is something I do about once or twice bi-monthly. I went there because I couldn't think of anywhere else to go. You shouldn't be allowed to call that a vacation, so thats why I call it a Kinda Vacation.
You don't care much about this do you? Wanna hear more stuff that you don't care about? I thought so!
Over the Kinda Vacation I adopted the habit of asking people what they would do if I just disappeared. I'm not talking about passing away or leaving the state. Nope, I'm talking about some "now you see me, now you don't" type of stuff...like..."POOF! Where did Quincy go?!"
Its funny when you're in a group of people and they're talking about something random and you snap at them and say, "...and what if I just disappeared right now, huh? THEN WHAT?!" I got this little habit from Sulaiman and Homaira. I think its the funniest thing I've heard of doing in a very long time. Here is a list of people who think the "what if I disappeared" joke is funny:
...thats it. I tried it today in a meeting at work. As the meeting was winding down I turned to Angie and said, "So what! What if I just disappeared right now?!" She didn't get it. I was laughing hysterically. It was awkwared.
...and so it goes: Another step forward to solidifying myself as the "Office Weirdo".
I was the Office Weirdo at my last job. I wasn't the guy that people thought would come in with an Uzi and flip out. I was more like the guy that the guy with the Uzi wouldn't have killed because he felt like he and I were on the same level.
My sinuses are terrible. I really want my nose to be fixed. I've tried every medicine known to man and nothing works. If you have attended Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Magic and know a spell that can clear my sinuses, then please let me know.
WORD OF ADVICE: Eat your grits when your father cooks them even though grits are disgusting. He worked hard making them and you shouldn't be such an ungreatful little snot.