NY DC bus cast of characters
Ever since I moved up to NY I have taken the bus back to DC/VA many of times. The following are the cast of characters that seem to be on EVERY trip I make (regardless of what bus line):
1) The Narcissist: I am not sure how to spell narcissist, but this is pretty self explanatory. This guy or gal thinks that the world revolves around them. They talk loudly on their phone, they play their portable DVD players without headphones on, they complain about how cramped the bus on the phone to whomever they're bitching to.
2) The Snore: Most people fall asleep on the bus, but it always seems like there is ONE person who snores like a cartoon character the whole trip. Don't bother trying to wake this person up to stop them from snoring because they will turn into the Narcissist. Then you'll have a snoring narcissist on your hands.
3) The Corporate Perpetrator: This character is one of my favorites. It is usually a male who is wearing a very nice suit and is reading a corporate type magazine or paper (i.e., The Wall Street Journal or his BlackBerry e-mails). This person, like the narcissist, talks loudly on his cell phone, but not because he doesn't care what the people think of him....its because he DOES care what the people think of him. He is terribly pretentious and would like everyone to know how important he is.
If this guy were as important and "big time" as he plays himself out to be, then he would be on a plane and not the bus.
4) The Comedians: The comedians aren't always on the bus, but if they are, then count on having a great trip. One of my favorite bus trips was when the bus got a flat tire and took a 45 minute detour to fix it. 10 miles after the tire was fixed the bus broke down and we were stranded for another hour. So, why was this one of my favorite bus trips? Because there was a group of 5 dudes on the bus that kept everyone laughing about the situation.
People like that are a blessing and when you recognize that blessing, then a terrible situation can turn into a not-so-bad-one.
5) The Ghetto: The ghetto is always evident on the bus and it is usually a family (mother, father, son, daughter, aunt, etc). Just as someone who is ghetto talks loudly in movies, the ghetto folks talk loudly on the bus. Ride the bus a few times and you'll learn that being ghetto is not a character trait reserved for black people. The most ghetto family I have ever encountered on a bus was a group of Chinese sisters.
NOTE: The Ghetto is simply a group of Narcissists.
6) The Creepy Kid: Usually between the ages of 3 and 10 years old, the creepy kid will stare at you. That is all he does....he just stares.
7) The Normal Traveler: Also referred to as "Point People", these are the folks who are just trying to get from Point A to Point B without causing any trouble. It is in our best interests to aspire to be Point People.
8) The Abnormal Traveler: There are normal travelers with large backpacks. They don't do anything strange...they just look like they will.
9) The Hot Girl: There is always ONE hot girl on the bus. There is never two, three, four, etc. There is always just one.
10) The Bus Driver: Of course. If you are on the Chinatown bus, then the driver will be an old Chinese man who seemingly hates you. If you are on any other bus line coming out of DC, you'll probably have an old Black man who doesn't seem to hate you, but seems very annoyed by your every move.
Happy Trails, folks.