Filmmaker - Musician - Photographer

even my body makes fun of me :(

Instead of my usual pointless bulletin/blog, I have decided to post a video. I don't often do this because who really watches these? But, you must watch this one.

You simply must:

I've been working out lately. On and off, you know. Everytime I work out it I am reminded why I stopped working out in the first place. The reason is this: WORKING OUT SUCKS. It sucks a lot. It hurts. Everytime I start to feel the burn I think to myself, "Man this hurts. Why am I doing this to myself. Then my arms (biceps...whatever) say the same thing. Did you know that my muscles talk to me while I work out. Here is what they say:


ARMS: WOAH WOAH WOAH, JERK FACE! Wadda ya' doin' ova' heah?!?!

ME: I'm just workin' out my biceps and wailing on my pecs.

ARMS: Well, did we ask you to do such a thing?

ME: No.

ARMS: Are you not pleased with us?

ME: Well, I just think that you could stand to be a bit stronger and good lookin'.

ARMS: Good lookin', eh? Good lookin'? Well, look at dis' ya' freggin' jerk off.

PECS: Yeah, whadda thinkin' a'bout?

ME: Well, pecs you're not very...how can I say this...developed.

PECS: What? You want I should grow bigger?! Is that what you want?

ME: Yes, bigger and stonger and more appealing to look at I guess.

PECS: Who da' fugg 'er you, ya' freaggin' punk face? Whadda want bigger tits, you want boobs like a freaggin' dame? Izzat what you want? You wanna be Betty Boop?

ARMS: Hahaha....yeah, this freaggin' guy wants to be Betty Boop.

PECS: Well, oop opp be doop, ya' freaggin'----

ABDOMINALS: Hey hey aeyyyyyye....wass'all da commotion ova' heah?!

PECS: Dis freakin' wakco wants bigger tits like Betty Boop 'n whateva'.

ME: No, you guys got it all wrong. I just want to be, look, and feel physically fit.

ABDOMINALS: Is that what you been doin', what wit' all da' crunching and sitting up? Is that why you're bringin' me such pain? Is this the reason.

ME: How did you guys learn to talk anyways? And why do you sound like you're from New Jersey. I'm from Virginia.

ABDOMINALS: Oh, you're from sweet Virginia. 'The City of Brotherly Love', eh? Well, I'll bet you like that concept ya' freaggin' homo!

ME: Thats actually Philadelphia. Virginia is a state, not a city, and its slogan is "Virginia is for Lovers."

ARMS: Virginia is for homos.

PECS: BAM!

ARMS: BAM!

ABDOMINALS: BAM!

PECS: Hey, why don't you go eat a freakin' cheesburger, ya' prick. You're skin and bones.

ARMS: Yeah!

ABDOMINALS: Yeah!

PECS: BAM!

ME: I hate you guys.

.....and thats why I don't like working out.