5 minutes Turkish
Yep...its true folks. It turns out I'm not as addicted to myspace and blogging as you thought. I went a bit more than a WHOLE 24 HOURS without logging on. Its mainly because I called in sick to work yesterday and I don't have internet access in my apartment, but thats besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't have myspace withdrawl or anything.
You should be proud of me.
The night before last I was coming from a studio in Brooklyn and I was carrying my guitar with me. The thing I like about carrying my guitar is that its a great conversation starter. The thing I don't like about carrying my guitar is that its a great conversation starter.
Sometimes an attractive female will say something like, "Oooh, you play the guitar?! I looooove the guitar." This is good. Other times, a drunk dude bumbling about the train will stop my and say, "HEY, I PLAY GUITAR! HOW LONG YOU BEEN PLAYIN', MAN? WHAT'RE YOU SOME SORT OF MUSICIAN OR SOMETHIN'?" This is bad.
The drunk people are sometimes a pleasure to talk to. Its hard to run into someone who isn't so much of an asshole to not maintain a casual conversation with a stranger here in The Big Apple.
Why do they call New York "The Big Apple". Someone put me on to that little tid bit of knowledge. Whats the science behind that? Why not "The Big Orange"? Why not "The Tiny Kiwi"? Why not "The Great Grape"? Why not "The Slim Banana".
Personally, I'm a fan of grapes. I'd go for 'The Great Grape' over 'The Big Apple". Who likes apples anyway? Aliens, thats who. If you like apples you're an alien.
So, for a few weeks now Ryan Conner (best buddy and roommate) have been saying the phrase, "BIG MONEY GRIND" at any time the opportunity presents itself. I'll tell you something people.....it is NOT getting old. Here are some examples:
RYAN: How was your day, Quincy?
ME: You know, brotha....another day on the BIG MONEY GRIND!
ME: Where you heading to Ryan?
RYAN: I have a show in Manhattan at 9pm.
ME: Sounds good.
RYAN: I might be back late. You know how it is on that BIG MONEY GRIND!
Its fun. Feel free to fuse it with your own vocabulary.
Who remembers coloring books? When did those not get fun anymore? Seriously, when was the day you were coloring in a coloring book and you were like, "This isn't awesome anymore." I'll bet coloring in coloring books is just as awesome as it was when we were all kids, but we just stopped doing it. Its like Hide-N-Go-Seek. Hide-N-Seek is still awesome. I'm 27 years old and I'd be up for a game of Hide-N-Seek with anyone at any time.
There is a guy who works in a diner that I frequent. He is English, meaning from somewhere in the UK. I think he's smarter than me. I don't think this because he has told me about his academic achievements. I don't think this because he wears glasses and carries a book around with him. I don't think this because he has any opinion about the economy or politics or psycology or anything like that. Nope....I think this because of his accent.
The English/UK accent is freakin' brilliant. They sound smart no matter what they say. The dude in the diner is the among the most scruffy and shady looking people I've ever seen working in a diner. But, when we had our first verbal exchange I felt quite simple. NOTE: Since you can't hear my impression of him, you'll have to imagin his responses in an english accent.
ME: Do you take debit cards.
HIM: No, I'm afraid. Cash only.
I understand that that doesn't read as someone who is smarter than anyone who is American. But you have to hear it. It sounded intelligent when he said it. Here are some sentences and phrases for you to try if you don't think I'm proving a point. Say each of these silly phrases in a regular "American" accent and then say it in an English accent. I think you will find that even the dumbest phrases sound smart with the UK verbage.
"On Thursday, I like to sniff glue."
"I'm not really interested in academics. I rather like coloring books."
"Are you finished with that silly puddy?"
"3 minutes Turkish."
"Goodie gum drops."
"Do you know what 'nemesis' means?"
"Your face is sexy time."
"Your lips taste like chocolate covered in mustard."
fellas try it on the ladies.
ladies try it on the fellas.