Yikes with a capital "IKES"....
Ok, so the cat is out of the bag.
A couple of years ago I was on a dating show on TVOne, called "Get the Hook Up". Most of you probably have never heard of TVOne nor the show, but just know that it exists. Its out there and its everywhere. I went on this dating show (hosted by radio personality Russ Par) and proceeded to embarass myself left to right upwards and downwards and even in a sideways diagnal motion.
I was one of three contestants trying to win a date with Vivan Green, who is a semi-celebrity R&B artist. Back then she had a hit single out, so it was a big deal.
There were three rounds in the show: Q&A, Speed Questions, and Talent.
This section of the show went fairly bland for me. I don't remember specifically what they asked nor do I remember my answer, but I do remember that before asking my question Russ thought it would be funny to refer to me as a bootlegger. Not a very good thing to be called in the presence of a woman you're trying to win a date with....ESPECIALLY if she's a professional recording artist.
Speed Question Round:
This is where the awkwardness reaches a new level. I remember this and I remember it all too well.
Vivian sat about 2 feet in front of me and asked me random questions for which I had to provide answers very quickly. I don't remember ANY of the questions she asked before the last one, "What R&B Diva would you not want to go on a date with?"
You're probably thinking that the worst possible answer I could give is "Vivian Green" since she was sitting right in front of me and would RUIN my chances. Well, blog/bulletin reader. I found an even worse answer.
Without stuttering I replied, "Luther Vandross". I don't need to go into the specifics of what happened after that. Use your imagination.
At this part of the show the contestants got to showcase a talent. I messed up on mine...like terribly, but I covered it up in a way that people thought it was awesome. Basically, I kicked ass in this portion of the show.
Needless, to say my fumbles throughout the program lost me the chance to actually win the date. I decided as I left the television studio that day that I would not share this with anyone. Every now and then I'd get a phone call from some random friend or friend of a friend who saw the show.
Last week, my uncle saw the show and called my mother, who told my father, who told my aunts, who watched TVOne until they caught a rerun, who told my other relatives.
....now everyone knows and has seen it.
I haven't even seen it.
I decided to post about it to get it out there in the open because apparently they show that episode all the damn time. I figure I may as well face it and come out with it.