a winter blunderland!
I walked out of the apartment today and it was snowing. It was freakin' SNOWING. Theres snow all over the ground and all over the cars and all over the streets and all over my only pair of "good shoes". There is snow EVERYWHERE. Its almost as if we are being attacked by snow!
I'm sure the terrorists have something to do with this. Those dirty so-n-so terrorists are always up to no good. I can usually see Manhattan from my apartment, but I couldn't today because of all the snow and clouds and fog. THE TERRORISTS STOLE MANHATTAN! Oh man, I knew it would come to this.
I decided to go to work inspite of Manhattan being stolen by the terrorists and the snow attacking the streets. I'm not going to let terrorism keep me indoors. If I did that, the terrorists win.
I started walking to the train and I was sitting right next to a terrorist! I got a good look at her. She looked like this:
She attacked me. Fortunately, I got out of there and to the office alive. It was a doosey!
Yesterday, I went to the mall and got a new DVD to watch (since I have no TV channels). I was passing one of those kiosks where the people sell things that you don't need and would never buy unless you were annoyed to the point where you want them to shut up. As I passed by one a woman walked up to me. She was cute...not really 'Natalie Portman' status, but she was cute none the less. She had an accent, too. It sounded like Dutch or Sweedish or something.
Anyways, she walks up to me and the following exchange took place (this will not be funny):
ME: Hey, how ya' doin'?
HER: Good...what is da' CD?
ME: Its a DVD. Hey look, I'm sorry I don't have any money for whatever it is you're selling.
HER: I not selling you things. Let me see DVD.
*she digs her and in the bag and pulls out the DVD...she was aggressive....i like that
HER: Oooooh, what is this? Is good?
ME: Yeah, its really funny.
HER: Flight of the Conchords, eh? I want to watch. You watch it with me tonight.
HER: Tonight. You and me watch movie together.
ME: Honestly, I know what you're doing and I don't have any money for what you're selling.
HER: How old you?
HER: You....how old?
HER: What?!?! You do not look. Look like....23...maybe 21.
ME: May I have my DVD, please?
HER: You veeeeery handsome. I want to watch with you.
ME: I don't think --
HER: Follow me. I want show you something.
*she walked off towards her kiosk where she was peadaling nail care products....my DVD was still in her hands....this chick KIDNAPPED my DVD!
ME: Miss, I really need my DVD back.
HER: Look at this *holds up nail file*.
ME: I do not have money for that. I need this though *reaching for my DVD*.
ME: I don't have it.
HER: $0.50...you like $0.50?!
*I walk off with her yelling flirty comments.....DVD in hand.
The Moral of this Story: I'm on to you ladies. I can't be wooed by your meaningless flirty games of deception.
*points finger at all of you with stern look.