I gotta pee like the 16th letter
As a result of drinking countless bottles of water throughout the day, I use the rest room approximately 10-17 times in the 8 hours I am at work. Right now is one of those times when I need to use the restroom, but I have opted to write a blog about using the restroom instead of actually doing it.
You see? This is the kind of charm that you're in for when you read this blog.
When I was little my father led me to believe that water was the cure for everything. Sick? Drink water. Your back hurts? Drink water. Puberty woes? It wouldn't be so bad if you drank more water. Now, as an adult, my first instinct to remedy ANY problem I have is to drink water. Trouble saving money? Drink water. Having a hard time understanding women? Mull it over with a bottle of water.
Lately, my dad has been into coffee. I'm sure that he has always been a coffee drinker, but it was not until just this year that I noticed he "gotta have the coffee".
I have no idea why I just told you that.
My urge to use the rest room has intensified.
I've been crazy giddy lately. I feel like the ugly horse on the pasture who gets picked on by all the other horses, but then grows into a beautiful unicorn and all the other horses realize that he's more special than them after all.
NOTE: I feel like that, but not in the gay way that you're probably imagining.
I would like for people to refer to me as "a man about town". I'm not sure what it means to be a man about town, specifically; however, it would be pretty cool for people to address and introduce me as such.
PERSON: Do you know of Q.Ledbetter?
OTHER PERSON: Why yes, I have met him a time or two on a fort night.
PERSON: What say ye' of him?
OTHER PERSON: Well, word is that he is quite the man about town.
Here is another example.
PERSON: So Q.Ledbetter, I hear that you are a renaissance man of sorts, but what is your actual profession?
ME: Well, kind sir, I am somewhat of a man about town.
Being a man about town come with a great deal of prestige.