weeerd to big beeeerd
Below is another Crucial Element PODCAST! that Ryan and I did last night. As always I must enclose a disclaimer for what you're about to see:
In no way do these characters represent what Ryan and I actually believe in real life. In no way do these characters represent how Ryan and I speak and act in real life. In no way should you or your kids mimic what we say and do as Crucial Element. Everything these characters say, do, and feel are the exact opposite of how our personalities are in real life. So, don't get offended. Its a joke; a playful representation of what we think pop culture and media will turn people into within the next 20-30 years.
Enjoy and don't be afraid to laugh. No one is watching.
So, its tax season. Tax season always gives me the heebie-jeebies because it involves money and stuff. Money makes me hella nervous. One year after I had an H&R Block rep do my taxes it turned out that I owed the government $40. I have no idea how that could have been possible since they take their share out of my pay checks every two weeks. Did they miss something that year? I don't know. Did the government forget to carry the 1 while deducting my hard earned income from my pockets?
The government is like the mafia. Rappers shouldn't mimic mafia families in their music. They should mimic politicians. If I ever become a gangsta rapper, I'm gonna have a congressional theme. I'm going to wear suits and all of my albums' skits are going to be of me trying to pass laws like legalizing weed and prostitution.
Here is a letter for dogs:
Dear Dogs Living in Jersey City Heights:
You all seem like intelligent and real kick-back K9's, so I've decided to write you this letter about your shitting practices. I know you're not responsible for cleaning up your own droppings; its your master's job to do that. The thing is, as I'm sure you are aware, they do not clean up your droppings. The sidewalks of our fair neighborhood is ridden with your poo-poo.
Since your masters are too dimwitted to clean up after you I'm pleading with you to hold it until you are in the house. Try taking a poop in the living room of your master's house so they'd have to clean it up. That way maybe they'd get a chance to know what its like to step in dog crap.
My hope is that together we can teach the citizens of Jersey City Heights to clean up their dog's "movements" from the sidewalks, so walking to the train isn't like treking through a mine field for everyone else.
I have successfully converted two of my friends to fans of The Beatles.