be my puddle buddy
Last night I had dinner with a friend and ordered Drunken Noodle. Instead of bringing me Drunken Noodle they served me with a Pad Thai/Drunken Noodle hybrid. It was the two dishes wrapped in one. I don't feel like explaining. It was good, but it was really weird.
After dinner, during my walk from the train to my apartment I ran into my best bud/roommate/comedian, Ryan Conner (www.myspace.com/ryanconner) on the street. He was heading to his show that night and asked if I wanted to go. It was starting to rain and I hate walking in the rain, so I declined. But, then he asked, "Why?"
MySpace friends....you should know that I am powerless against the question, "Why?" If you offer me something and I decline and you ask me, "Why," I will almost always give in to whatever you're offering (with the exception of drugs or liquor). I'm not sure if Ryan knows this. Fortunately, he doesn't read my blogs or bulletins. Anyways, I decided to go along and I went upstairs to change clothes.
Now pay attention because this is an example of how stupid I can be:
I wore my Chucks. Yes. You read correctly. It was about to rain and I wore my Chucks. By the end of the night my feet were wet and cold. What is really stupid is that as I was tyin the laces I thought to myself, "This is a mistake. I should wear thicker shoes." I did not follow my heart.
In the end I learned a valuable lesson about following the heart. Thats the lesson I'm trying to pass along to you all. Follow your heart ladies and gentlemen. Follow your dreams.
NOTE: I'm not sure how you are supposed to learn to follow your heart by hearing my story about walking in puddles while wearing Chucks. Its just a stupid thing to do. Don't do it.
While at the show we ran into a female comic who was at Ryan's last NY show. After the show we saw her at the same subway station as us. I thought nothing of this until Ryan leaned in and the following exchange took place:
RYAN: Hey, thats the girl from the show.
RYAN: She was at my last show, too and she saw you and I together at that show.
RYAN: ....and now she sees us leaving together.
RYAN: She probably thinks we're gay.
ME: *after a brief awkward silence* .....oh shit.
Part of me thought it was silly, but another part of me thought it was quite possible. So, whatever.
Ryan stocked up on cereal for our apartment. He knows that Cinnamon Toast Crunch is my most favoritest favorite favority special cereal in the whole wide world, so he got me a box. Unfortunately, he got the kind that has 75% less sugar. I wondered why he would do such a thing. This is the type of thing my mother would do when I was in middle school. I'd ask for Fruit Loops and she'd bring the nasty store brand.
NOTE: Most store brands are just as good as the actual cereal. This does not apply to Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks. Store brand Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks are of everything that is Evil.
I'm not sure how many of you are getting this bullshit email about Barack Obama's name being a sign that he is a demon spawn, but if you're the kind of silly ass dumb ass fart faced idiot who believes that, then delete me from your myspace friend list. Either that or just repost it as a bulletin when you get it and when I see it I'll delete you myself. I've done it to two people already.
I'm not saying that I'm voting for Obama (actually not sure who I'm voting for yet), but if you're the type who reads that kinda stuff and believes it, then I can't hold any sorts of ties with you. I can't be affiliated with that level of stupidity.
Its dumber than wearing Chucks in the rain.