Filmmaker - Musician - Photographer

reviewing some things....

This is going to be one of those self-searching-depressing blogs that few of you enjoy, however, I'm a diplomatic man who wants to please my readers (all 7 of you). Here's is a little something for you to be entertained with:

The rest of the blog will not be as good as the video. Read at your own risk:

Ok, so I'm tired of being single. I see my friends going on dates and such with women who are actual PROSPECTS as opposed to just being friends. I'm jealous.

My status is my own fault, though. I don't think I'm good looking, but in the same right...I don't think I'm all that bad either. I have an outstanding personality and I'm kinda talented and have some stuff going for me. So, whats the problem? I've seen assholes in healthy relationships, so I'm sure "they" are not the problem...its me.

There are women who have been interested in me, but the feelings just aren't the same with me for some reason. These are wonderful and beautiful women, but something about the chemistry just isn't there. Its not the same as it was with my ex...she and I just clicked and even now as friends on the rare occassion we talk its a "clicking"...ya' know?

Q.Ledbetter, do you still have feelings for your ex?

No way, Jose. I've done some serious thinking about that because I thought maybe that was the problem and realized thats not the case at all. Its like in the end of the movie Prime...acceptance and maturity...thats what its all about, man.

So, what is it that hinders me from "sealing the deal"?

Well, I know I have problems meeting women. I don't go out much, so I'm not necessarily making myself available to anyone like I should. Here's the thing, though....I don't like going out. I don't like going to clubs and I only enjoy a party if I'm surrounded by people I know. All of the women I know I only click with as friends and the few others who I can actually see myself with are friends of my ex...which is against my morals (regardless of what you all think). if they'd be interested in me anyways. I'm kind of a goofus around 'em...haha!

Even when I do begin to "talk" to someone, there is always a problem with the amount of time I spend with my music. Women enjoy attention that I can't give right now. I'm always in the studio. I'm always doing a photoshoot. I'm always....BUSY! Being busy all the time is good during the day when loneliness is not on my mind, but after everything is over and I'm at home...just lying'd be good to have someone to share my adventures with. After a stressful day it'd be good to have someone tangible there to rub my back. It would also be good on the self esteem to return the favor to someone....ya' know...feel WANTED by someone besides my family.

I dunno...maybe I should start acting like I don't want to be with anyone like everyone else in my position. I should be like everyone else who is lonely and turn into one of those assholes that says shit like, "I'm perfectly fine by myself. I can't handle a relationship right now. I'm far too important and busy to entertain the thought of sharing myself with anyone at this current juncture. I'm making moves."

I hate those people and thats not how I wanna be, but it seems like the only other option until someone comes along who can break me down.

Ok...if you read, then you get a gold star for friendship :) If not, then I hope you enjoyed the video.

Quincy LedbetterComment