I couldn't come up with an effective title for this bulletin. Can you tell? I'll bet you couldn't. You're not that perceptive.
-Well Space Cadets, its a beautiful day in The Dirty District and I'm lovin' the weather. Fall is coming and that means soon it'll be cool enough for me to wear my new trendy jacket. I'm excited. I may even hire a funk band to play theme music as I walk down the city streets on any day that I wear my trendy jacket.
-I'm developing a "thing" for hand sanitizer. They offer it for free here at work. At any time I can go down to the supply room dude on the 22nd floor and be like, "Yo Jarvis, I need more of the Purell Hand Sanitizer jump off." Seconds later I got that, son. If you ever need your hands sanitized I'm your guy.
-I don't know if you all know this, but I'm not like typical dudes. One of the prominant differences is my annoyance with sports, cars, and sports cars. When I started typign this paragraph I had a point....it was a good point. I was going to say something funny, but I left my desk to do something and when I came back to this paragraph I had forgotten the point I was going to make. Lets pretend that I didn't forget my point and I hit you with some life-altering-universe-shattering theory.
*insert life-altering-universe-shattering theory here*
Try that for breakfast, bitches.
-I'm tired of everyone saying "bitch" and "bitches" like its something brand new. Swizz Beats, Britteny Spears, and damn near everyone else throws "bitch" after their name and thinks its the hotness. Ever since Dave Chapelle did that Rick James sketch everyone has been on the "bitches" train. I got off that train a few stops ago. Its time for everyone to join me in Originality Town. The population is low enough as it is.
-This bulletin is all over the place. I'm sorry.
-I am seriously thinking of doing a mini documentary on religion; or at least studying the many different religions in an objective attempt to refute my idea that there is no right/wrong religion. Hmmmmmm....
-Sharon likes rice cakes (not that Sharon....the other Sharon). Sharon is nutzo in her brain because rice cakes suck ass in a key of MAJOR. She and I have a friendly bet going that she can't convince me that rice cakes suck.
If you haven't figured out, I'm racist against rice cakes.