Filmmaker - Musician - Photographer

bing bong bing

-They've blocked MySpace at my job. Before I had blocked MySpace from myself and just cut down on my visits to the site, but now its officially off limits to all employees. I tried to log on this morning and I couldn't. I'm kind of glad that they did it.

-A couple of blogs ago I told the story of how Roommate #3.5 came into play. He's having troubles with his wife and needs to stay with us while things cool off. We're approaching the end of Week 2 of his stay. Another friend of my "official" roommates has had a falling out with his girlfriend, whom he was staying with. Needless to say my roommates have opened their doors to yet another cast away. Now we are 4 "official" roommates with two guys sleeping on our couch. One of these couches is the couch in the basement where my studio is.


Roommate #3.9 may be moving in today. When he got kicked out of his house he came over to ours and started telling the story of how he has no place to go. I was clearing out a room so we could use it as a nice sun room or something. Roommate #3.9 saw this and the following exchange took place:

HIM: Wow! Thanks man!

ME: Eh?

HIM: You're clearing out this room for me?!

ME: Naaaah, I was gonna make it into a sun room.

HIM: Whats that?

ME: Ya' know...a couch, a table, some greenery...stuff like that.

HIM: Oh....'cause I might be movin' in here and I'll need a place to say.

ME: Oh.

HIM: Yeah, I think I'm just gonna put a futon in there.

ME: Oh.

HIM: Yeah.

I'm trying to keep in mind that my "official" roommates are just being good friends and giving their friends a place to stay in their time of need. I would do the same thing for my friends. If it were, Ryan, Rory, Danny, my brother, Travis, or ANYONE of my friends I would open my doors. I wouldn't dare express any objection to them taking in a friend in need. I would find another place to stay if it ever came down to it. I wouldn't ask them to have their friends leave.

Both house guests are really EXTREMELY cool. Its just that I'm starting to feel crowded. Its starting to feel like I'm living in a frat house rather than an actual home.

I dunno. I'm sorry for ranting.

-IN OTHER NEWS: Someone heard my music and told me that I needed a new sound. Actually, they said I need to "develop my OWN sound." I'm not sure what that means, so I asked my brother. John (brother) assured me that I don't sound like ANYTHING playing on the raido now so he's not sure what "develop my own sound" means either. I've asked a few other people and they have told me the same thing.

In any case my self-esteem has been affected. I know I'm still hot shit, but I'm not at all sure why so many people think my music is too weird to work with. I gave a CD of tracks to an artist and he could only do something to one of them. It was my least favorite track on the CD I gave him. I'm wondering if I'm as good as I think I am. Either way, I love making music too much to let a small thing like insecurity get in my way of trying to change the world with my art. I don't really care if people don't think I can do it.

-Last night I was on the phonr with a girl for a little over 3 hours. How did I pull that off? I can't S-T-A-N-D talking on the phone to anyone, but the conversation was flowing. She doesn't seem put off by my awkward charm and she seems smart so it was cool talking to her. It reminded me that not all women are turning into idiots. If she didn't have a boyfriend, I would think that I had a shot. Ahhh well!

At hour 2 of our convo we delved into the subject of relations and relationships. Since I ruled out the possibility of ever developing interest in this woman, and vice versa, I was being completely honest. She seemed boggled by my lack of experience with the ladies. The following exchange took place at one point:

HER: You've only been in ONE relationship?

ME: Yep.

HER: How long did it last?

ME: About 6 months.

HER: What?! Thats it?

ME: Yep.

HER: ....and you've never been with anyone else.

ME: Nope.

HER: Ever?

ME: Nope.

HER: Whats wrong with you?

I realized that being honest about my relationship history was not a good idea. To answer her question I replied, "Well, I'm not sure whats wrong with me at all. I think I'm pretty cool. Have you noticed anything unbecoming about me so far?"

She gave me the nice answer. Lets hope it was genuine. Being too chicken shit to stand up against my roommate situation, getting unfavorable critiques on my music, and realizing that my relationship history is unbecoming of a Non-Mormon Male my age is wear and tear on the ol' self-esteem enough as it is.