why are you so EMO(tional)?
I do this thing where I buy candy and I hide it from myself and forget about it. I do this so I can stumble upon it later and be pleasantly surprised like, "Oh Snap! I found some CANDY, yo!" It just worked. I just discovered a pack of orange Tic-Tacs.
My boy Tim (who is a comedian) has a hilarious joke about oversleeping for work. I'm not going to explain the joke in detail because I'll butcher it, but it happened to me this morning. It was Tim's joke in real life. I should've been amused by the situation, but I thought it was kinda creepy that he predicted actual events of my life and had been telling them as a joke for the past few months.
That sonofabitch has ESP, son!!!!!
Speaking of acronyms:
Roommate #2 and Roommate #3 have a friend who has a habit of committing adultry. This friend of theirs has an STD. That STD is HPV. No, I didn't not mistype HIV; I meant HPV. If you don't know anything about HPV, you should know that its HIGHLY contractable and there is little to no defense against catching it. This guy knows about his HPV status and is still soaring his oats with any woman willing to sleep with a married man. Oh yeah...he's married, which means that his wife proabably has HPV, as well and doesn't know it.
Adultry sucks, people. Stop it.
I'll have to marry a virgin. If Mormons weren't so racist I'd go for a Mormon chick.
NOTE: If I didn't spell 'Mormons' properly, please don't correct me on it. My self-esteem can't take that type of jab right now. Besides, if you take the time to leave a comment, then make it more magical than correcting my grammatical mishaps.
How do I fit this ass in these jeans?! -------> (_|_)
The world is getting dumber. By the time I'm 80 years old the world will be unbearable to live in, which is cool with me because it'll be almost time for me to clock out anyways.
Alright. This blog is going no where a capital NO!