Filmmaker - Musician - Photographer

Q.Ledbetter doesn't know what to think anymore....

I haven't been to church in a long while. I haven't been feeling the whole church vibe lately and its not at all because I've lost faith or belief. I, acutally, think its because my faith and belief has evolved beyond what I've been being taught. I'm questionable about the perception of who or what GOD is as its presented by most organized religions.

When I go to church I feel like the things we're being taught are exclusive, meaning I wouldn't be taught the same things in a church of a separate denomination. I was watching a debate show last night and the participants started on religion. I listened to them trade criticism and insults back and forth and I thought, "Goodness, they're missing the point!" There's no way we can know for sure who is right and wrong. If you want to get deep into it, the probability is that NONE OF US are right.

I see GOD is being more omniscient than what I've been taught. I'm having a hard time believing that Heaven is in the clouds and Hell is underground. I'm having a hard time believing that GOD is a white-bearded man in sandles and a robe who lives in a palace and when we all die we go to a sandy beach resort in the skies and sip exotic drinks and play in sunflower fields.

It makes more sense to me that GOD is everything; a conscious, omniscient being...maybe even an energy of some sort. It makes more sense to me that the TRUTH lies in a common ground between all the religions that we've created to make sense out of the things we don't understand and/or WANT to believe. It makes more sense to me that the afterlife is part of another existance and another form of consciousness; a separate plane from our own. We'll become part of everything that GOD has created. When we pass away we'll evolve into that new form of consciousness. That makes more sense to me than us standing in line awaiting entry into a kingdom in the sky.

I think its simple, but very complex at the same time. We've created religions to give our personal beliefs validation. I'm coming to understand that and it scares me because most people either don't believe in GOD or they believe in their GOD.

One thing I can be sure of is that there is a GOD and at some point in time there was a Jesus (I think Jesus was GOD's attempt to reach us on a simplified level...but, we screwed that up, too). I can also be sure that there is a VERY calculated way to our existance. We're all out of control and floating around in a very controled system. At some point we'll reach a point where either we have to go or the system has to be destroied.

....something tells me that the system will win, in which case GOD will take us out of the equation. This may sound crazy or even a bit creepy, but when Man is judged I hope I'm around to see it.

If I'm wrong about my beliefs I really want someone to teach me the truth accurately and objectively. I've prayed for that. I've asked GOD to show me who He is (I say "He" because that is what I've been conditioned to do). I've prayed and asked to be fed something unquestionable and all of that which can be explained beyond saying, "....because GOD is good."

Do you have the answers?