its a bird! its a plane! no its...a pimp?
Yesterday, I was talking to a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless. This friend said that he was making a list of all the women he has slept with in his life.
ME: Yo, whats up *insert friend's name*.
HIM: Whats good? *slight pause* YO! You're gonna think this is weird, man.
ME: Oh yeah? Whats up?
HIM: I'm makin' a list of all the women I've been with, but I'm missing two of 'em. I can't remember their names.
ME: Wait a sec....you're what?????
HIM: Yeah, on the way home today one of the names came to me, so now I'm just missing two.
ME: Are you talking about women you've dated or women you've slept with?
HIM: .....slept with, man.
ME: ....and you've forgoten two of 'em.
HIM: Yeah. See, I know there's been 17, but---
ME: WOAH!!!!!! 17????? Are you SERIOUS.
HIM: Are you serious? Man, thats nothin'.
ME: Compared to who?
HIM: Trust me, Q. Thats NOTHIN'!
It was in that moment I concluded that my friend is Superman. Only The Man of Steel could pull off the feat of having sex with, upwards of, 17 women in a lifetime; enough for him to forget two of their names. Only the Last Son of Krypton could possess enough swagger and machismo to lure so many women into his secret hideaway/bedroom and impress her enough to drop her panty draws.
I thought some more about my friends from high school and how many different women they had in their lives. A vague memory came to mind of me and 5 other male counterparts sitting in a circle. They were saying things like:
"probably around 40 something since freshman year"
"maaaaan....I'm thinkin' about 10, but I'm only a sophmore"
"homie thats nothin', I'm at about 50"
They were talking about how many sexual partners they have had SINCE THEY STARTED COLLEGE!!!!!! Of course me, being HIGHLY inexperienced at the time, excused myself to play PlayStation. I thought they were all lying to impress each other.
After thinking more about the subject I came to the conclusion that since 17 is nothing in comparison to the rest of the male population in their 20's, all men besides me are superheros. All men, besides me, are apart of some sort of Justice League or superhero conglomerate where they all sit around and discuss tactics of pimpery and seduction.
Not to discredit the character of the members of the Justice League, but I'm not (and never have been) into knockin' boots with "randoms". Since I've only ever been in one real relationship, you can do the math in my case. The way I see it I'd have to sleep with at least one different woman each week to climb the ranks of the Justice League and reach Superman status, however, my morals won't allow it. Not to say that womanizers and men with over 40 partners have no morals, but damn fellas......I don't think I've ever even befriended more that 50 women in my whole life.
I tip my hat to the Justice League for their excessive amounts of mojo.
Play on playas. Play on.