my letter to Atlanta (ignore grammatical errors)
We've met before briefly, but as you know, these three days is the longest I've spent with you. The first two times I wasn't really blown away and expressed how I didn't reall like you. On this day, I take back those unflattering sentiments. I kinda dig you, a little bit, in a sort of type of way. Your inhabitants are pleasant and friendly and as a black man I feel a family type of vibe here. I do, however, hold some grievances.
1) The citizens of Atlanta drive very slowly. I drive very slowly for a Washington DC Metro Area raised youth, but here in Atlanta I am Speed Racer. Since I have been here I have witnessed to scenarios where people have stopped in the middle of a residential street for no apparent reason.
Why, just early today, when my parents and I went to TARGET a woman went from driving 25 mph to 2 mph. For what? Why? Ask her for me, Atlanta. Would you do that for me?
2) Nothing is conveniently close to anywhere where anyone lives. In Northern Virginia and my future residence in NY, everything is "right there". I was raised in Woodbridge, Virginia where there is a McDonalds and 7-11 and gas station on EVERY CORNER. Imagin the culture shock of driving 10 minutes only to find NO 7-11 NO McDonalds and only 2-3 gas stations. What is this tom foolery.
3) Atlanta, please tell your citizens to carry themselves with a some sense of urgency. No one here walks; they "mosey". This isn't really a "problem", per say, because I think its kinda cool. I almost respect people who don't adhere to the times tables of the people around them. If the parking garage gate won't open and there is a pile up of cars, why should the parking attendants move with any sense of urgency. Heaven forbid they should walk faster or look concerned that well over 50 cars are honking at them and their faulty equipment. No. I like that they continue to mosey.
Why, when I am driving, would anyone crossing the street walk faster or stop walking to avoid getting run over. Hmm? Why? Why would they put a little more pep in their step to signify that they acknowledge my presence?
In closing, Atlanta...I like you a lot. I couldn't live here because my heart rate beats at more than 5 beats per minute, but I really do like you. Lets just see if we can take care of these grievances and we'll be great friends.